I work as reception security in one of the buildings on the Palm Jumeirah. I find it very easy to greet (Say ‘hi, good morning sir/maam’ or ‘you’re welcome sir maam) all the resident and visitors coming in or leaving the building.
I greet them all, including teenagers with a few nice words and I stand. However, I find it very sad that only about seven per cent of the residents respond to my greeting while others just ignore me, stay mute and turn the other way. Sometimes I feel sad and moody because I think they ignore me because of my class category. Or are they just ignorant?
Should I stop greeting the residents or I should continue to endure it?
FBhigh
Palm Jumeirah
February 22, 2012 at 8:20 am
First of all, you seem to be quite sharp to come to 7%. Back to the subject, I have a similar experience while I’m in the lift, lobby, etc. There are 3 types of people;
1- Some greet because they have the manners and respect.
2- Some only greet back if you initiate (otherwise they would be as dumb as this wall, even on the 10th incident).
3- Some are lost forever. It’s a culture thing and how they have been brought up. One has no idea where have this population come from.
For you, I recommend that you keep greeting, as it shows your politeness and self-respect. Whether the addressee has the manner to perceive the respect and greet back, it is up to them. Pay it forward and prove you are polite. Leave the rest to them.
February 22, 2012 at 8:39 am
@FBhigh
Keep it up, we’re two Europeans that appreciate it a lot and we greet our security everyday!
February 22, 2012 at 8:48 am
Some people just don’t have manners its as simple as that
You keep doing what makes you happy.
February 22, 2012 at 9:19 am
Hi there FBhigh!
Many for sure would share such sentiment with you, I personally, would say that yes, it is really upsetting to be dealing with such scenario wherein just like what you said, it got us thinking… when you are to greet, smile and welcome people who seemed to lack manners to respond with a smile or even a simple nod.
Well, anyways, thinking to stop doing so would not differentiate you from them. Firstly, it is your duty to make the people who come within your assigned premises to feel welcomed and at ease, secondly, if those ignorant, arrogant residents or visitors are many in your view, just come to think of those, who still remained respectful, but are only busy-buddies, those who had a lot to think of, you never knew them but… They are worth the smile and the cheer. You may as well think of this, if you stop what you were doing (The Greeting/ welcoming attitude), one day these arrogant people will again point their fingers on you, telling you that “You are supposed to be doing it!” worst, will go and report you on your Department. So, I will just want to inspire you to keep doing the good job, share your smile and it will for sure, spread. Sometimes, even if the person is naïve to show you that, because of course, this is a Muslim country and is multi-cultural, just stay positive. What’s important is that, you are giving a smile and a greeting from within (Just keep it real).
February 22, 2012 at 9:25 am
Common courtesy doesn’t cost you anything. The residents are just plain rude if they don’t greet you back. Cling to the 7%!!
February 22, 2012 at 9:32 am
I was touched by yesterday’s Star Letter as instances where lack of empathy I witness are so prevalent that often I become immune to them, eventhough I profess to being a caring member of the community. Whether it’s a doorman, a supermarket cashier, a stranger in a mall or just about anyone; mostly I make it a point to smile, greet and make a connection, however brief. This is a habit that becomes second nature with practice.
However there are times when I too fall into that same category of people who exhibit indifferent behaviour. There are no excuses for my lack of understanding of another’s situation, feelings or motives. Justifications like ‘I’m having a bad day/I’m in a hurry/I’m preoccupied’ are not valid.
In a cosmopolitan environment like Dubai where social hierarchies are sadly often entrenched, I see it as my duty to be as gracious as possible to those around me. The fact that I don’t always succeed is a reflection of my need to become more conscious of others, whoever they are. Awareness is the first step to change. I found this online quiz on empathy, maybe seeing myself as I really am is a first step to progress. http://glennrowe.net/BaronCohen/EmpathyQuotient/EmpathyQuotient.aspx
February 22, 2012 at 9:38 am
Hello Dear,
It is very sad that you have to face so many people every day who don’t have a heart.
You don’t worry at all.And please don’t stop your goodness.You keep on greeting them.
It is not about a class or category at all.It only shows that you have a nice heart and others don’t
Keep on doing this and don’t stop greeting people.
Take care
Mona Maqsood
February 22, 2012 at 9:42 am
Man , do ur great job , greet them , be good as always , and don’t bother urself about others’ reactions , don’t deal with others the same they deal with you then after this positive thing from you will push them to do the same ,,, ur good small thing really can change the world , just believe in this
best greetings to you MAN
February 22, 2012 at 10:10 am
FBHigh, keep doing what you’re doing! I always say hello to my security guy when I arrive at work and it always makes the day start a little bit better when you get a friendly greeting in return. There’s something incredibly warming about a greeting from a person we don’t know and I’m sure the people who say hello back to you appreciate it a lot.
February 22, 2012 at 10:32 am
You should stand at a door of a plane and say bye and thank you to 500 people and I would say less than 50 people would even raise their head to look at you, after looking after their safety and comfort for 14 hours, now that’s just sad!
What’s happened to the world!?
February 22, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Keeping the passengers safe & comfortable is an express requirement of cabin crew members. It’s their job..!!
In an ideal world, wouldn’t it be great to receive a warm smile & a big thank you for simply doing what you are paid to do..??
However, the sometimes surly, miserable & downright grumpy cabin crew who scowl & snort at passengers reasonable requests during a flight certainly do not deserve a “goodbye” & “thank you” from passengers.
Equally after 14 hours “sandwiched” into a seat, no doubt tired & sick of surly cabin crew, just try being happy when you depart the plane..!!
February 22, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I remember my teenage daughter being reprimanded by a middle aged female cabin crew attendant for not greeting good morning with a cheery smile – what the attendant wasnt aware of was that we had already been on two long haul flights (one of which had been delayed considerably) and were now on out last leg of the trip extremely tired, we were “Flying the Flag”, empathy comes after experience I guess ?
February 22, 2012 at 10:26 pm
Baloo, you are part of the problem by thinking that money should buy you a smile and a thank you……unfortunately people are so materialistic that they tag a monetary factor to what should be a matter for manners and courtesy. There is a generic smile and one that comes from our inner being…..it make a difference.
Khaled A.
February 22, 2012 at 12:14 pm
I will tend to disagree with all the comments above, Greet the people who you know they respond back and simply ignore the rest who simply doesn’t have any manners or respect…trust me you have more class than they do.
It is not your Job to great them anyway , your Job is to make sure of the security of the building , you are greeting them because you are a nice gentle person, being ignored just makes you feel bad so don’t give them the chance to ignore you.
Personally , I great the security / Receptionist at my home and work buildings and occasionally offer them a cigarette and chat for a couple of minutes if I am not in hurry to leave… I am not better than anyone, neither are those ignorant people at your building.
February 22, 2012 at 12:45 pm
It has nothing to do with your class but rather with theirs (or lack thereof !!!). I have some neighbors that I greet when I walk into the elevators fro instance, and they don’t even have the courtesy to respond back.
February 22, 2012 at 2:16 pm
Keep up the greetings, please ! If I ever pass by I would love to wish you a good day. Unfortunately some people are just circus animals with only ignorance to support them through life.
February 22, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Try walking into a McDonalds people….
February 22, 2012 at 4:34 pm
If it could be of any help, I’m facing the same problem as resident at one of the fancy tower here in Dubai.
Apart few people, all the other neighbours I meet in the hall or in the elevator fail to respond, even with a nod, to my greetings. As you can see, it isn’t a matter of classism but a lack of good manners (I don’t think that in any culture is considered a good thing no returning the greeting).
I endure in my ‘smile and wave’ policy as I am not the one in fault and, please, do the same. You have all my respect!
February 22, 2012 at 7:19 pm
It is polite people like you that make this country a little less self absorbed. Keep up the good work. It’s just a shame that Dubai is full of rude ignorant people with no manners. Keep smiling and don’t let those people get you down
February 22, 2012 at 10:01 pm
Absolutely accurate.
February 22, 2012 at 9:53 pm
@FBhigh keep wishing them it part of ur job this problems happence for me everyday dont worry u do ur work and let them do they
February 22, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I think you should continue to greet people and do it with a smile. Just because people have lost their sense of manners does not mean that you should. It is certainly frustrating to live among others who do not share your courtesy and for your patience not to change, I commend you. It seems to me that there is a class system in your building with you at the higher end of the spectrum.
Khaled A.
Dubai
February 23, 2012 at 9:00 am
jus greet the one’s who greets you thatz all
February 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm
I am afraid I need more accurate statistics than just 7% to form an opinion on this subject.
February 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm
if someone offers you a gift and you accept it, the gift belongs to you. If someone offers you a bucket of horse manure and you dont accept; the gift stays with them. Keep offering your gift. What the recipoients do in return is their concern, not yours.
Good luck.
February 23, 2012 at 9:29 pm
Good one !!
February 25, 2012 at 10:02 am
you don’t know how many ppl notice the smile and feel grateful for it.. don’t stop doing it, it is not always the same people who respond to a smile, or ignore it.. people come in dfferent moods.. the one who responds may one day just ignore it in stress.. or a miserable individual may get encouraged and grateful for it.. you might influence someone’s life.. be positive
February 25, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Asalam Alaikom
Ofcourse keep greeting people. If you do something for a deep purpose, (pleasing Allah), then you will be rewarded in sha Allah. Whether these people appreciate your kindness or not. I am not trying to justify their bad manners (whoever they are, and from whatever race or culture they come from – because I have witnessed rude behavior from people of different races and religions) But, never expect a return (even a return of kindness) from human beings, they will always let you down. Keep being nice
February 26, 2012 at 12:22 am
Security pesonnel are not cabin crew or a waiter/waitress that they should be expected to smile always, rather, they should be assertive. Their job is to protect livies and property and not to greet and smile to people who think securities are not human beings.